What NOT to say to a new mom and what to DO instead
One of the most common mistakes I see people make when it comes to helping new mama’s during postpartum is saying, “Let me know if you need anything.”
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Let me be clear, I’ve said this phrase many of times. I’ve said it when I genuinely want to help a new mama and I’ve said it when I didn’t really know what else to say, “Here’s some cookies, let me know if you need anything.” I’m not the only one who has done this right?!
So what are the reasons we keep saying, “Let me know if you need anything”?
1. We don’t know how to help. Often times we really do want to help out new mamas, but we’re just not sure what they need or what they are comfortable with.
2. We don’t have the time to help. It’s usually us moms who are trying to look out for new mamas and we have our own families, jobs, etc. to take care of. Sometimes the idea of helping someone else may be extremely overwhelming.
3. We don’t want to be too personal. It can be hard to talk about our mental health and emotional state. Maybe you don’t want to make the new mama feel like you’re bombarding her, or pressuring her to share her feelings with you.
So what you can do INSTEAD of making that mistake. This will help you improve the relationships with the mamas in your life and let them know you really are there to support them.
- Ask how they are doing and LISTEN. Ask follow up questions. Give this new mama the opportunity to open up and share how she is feeling.
- Look around and what you can offer to do. You may have to be a bit creative. This could look like dropping off dinner, picking up dirty laundry and delivering it clean or sending some books or toys for older children. Try to think what you would want help with as a new mama.
- Send a card, write a postcard or send a thoughtful gift. Receiving something thoughtful and unexpected can be so meaningful for a new mama and help her know she’s remembered and loved.
If you're looking for the perfect gift for a new postpartum mama, then you have to check out Dear Mama prints. They are faith-based hand-lettered prints with a letter of encouragement from a fellow mama on the back. They are the perfect gift for expecting or new mamas.